The TBC Story
I am a relationship and life style transition Coach specializing in separation and divorce, and couple’s relationship enhancement, including same sex couples. I inspire clients to take love to a whole new level of passion and spirit and empower people to really discover, experience and share the gift of a breakthrough loving connection.
We all have patterns which we call limiting beliefs that we have trusted in since we were young. These have worked and kept us safe and they don’t go away at once. My goal is to help you step outside the patterns we have learned or that have been ingrained in us. For example limiting beliefs… If I don’t do it then it won’t get done right or at all…. If we don’t change the patterns how do you create sustainable results? I was criticized so I’m never good enough, smart enough. So we play small and be as safe as possible. Safety is procrastination. Safety is another word for fear. We don’t speak up or speak our truth and NOW is the time to do that. It’s time to contribute not just let the world pass you by.
I find that our Partner relationship affects quite honestly every part as of our lives. When there is stress in your life that can lead to no connection between you and your partner and you’re not feeling “in sync” everything suffers….. I mean everything…..Your health …. Sleep…. what’s that! You don’t eat, there is stress… and we have all heard what stress can do to you…. migraines, physical pain and depression. I’ve been on the anti-depression pill train… have you? Stress is energy draining. I also find that finances suffer….. because you are distracted, it prevents you from doing your best, being at that top of your game, and can have all types of consequences leading up to actually being let go or fired!
The stressful relationship can have very real effects on your family relationships your kids, parents and siblings, your in laws, your friends …. All connections really suffer and believe me they know when you are not getting along with your partner! It affects relationships every which way.
Relationships are relationships…. One thing I want to add here is that….. where love is concerned I find that it doesn’t’ matter whether it is between a man and a woman or between same sex couples, you still experience the same trauma, and it can be traumatic… It’s emotional, there’s anger and suffering with a lack of connection.
My Journey started with my marriage at 23 years of age. I considered it a success, however, as many of you might be able to relate to… I was riding the roller coaster of relationship… What I like to refer to as “the Love Drug” days… You know that feeling of having connection, everything is going right in your relationship world, you feel the love you are kind, considerate of each other putting the other first. Then you begin the downward slope to not being good enough for each other, the “critical parents” came out and then you experience the lows of the coaster… The where did the love go again? And it keeps going…. this roller coaster…. up again and down again… and again… and again. For me this went on for the last 10 years of my twenty six year marriage until the day I yelled stop I want to get off of this roller coaster… NOW.
I struggled and I really struggled after I left my husband. I wish I had a mentor or a coach to help me through this tough time in my life. Just someone to hear me, just someone to guide me , but I had nothing and I thought I had to do it on my own. I read book after book after book, taking the long winding road to a life after divorce. And I will tell you at least for me reading books just wasn’t enough….. they didn’t get feedback, they weren’t supportive, they weren’t loving…. they weren’t giving me strategies. Not to say they were bad but nothing happened… I stayed in depression pill land, feeling resentful and being a victim until I realized something huge…
that I had to do the inner work and I had to do the inner work while fighting depression. that’s a tough… tough combination. I gained weight I became more and more angry and ultimately crying myself to sleep in my lonely apartment. My friends tried to help, but sometimes I felt like the broken record and pulled back from them…. being unable to concentrate at my job wasn’t helpful either and sometimes that was all I had was my job, what else was I coming home to. Not knowing how to find the joy in being me. I don’t know if any of you can relate, but it is a very lonely and depressing place.
So here I was divorced and for the longest time I tried to be “normal”, show on the outside that I was ok! I tried dating it just didn’t feel right and then one day I noticed an “Opportunity” on a website and found a “Life Coach” to help me “get back out and date again”. She helped me through doing the inner work. How could I date again if I didn’t like myself? She helped me learn who I was at this stage of my life. The books just didn’t do it for me. I needed a person who listened to me, who supported me, held me accountable and gave me some much needed direction. I was too close to it I couldn’t see it on my own.
I was encouraged and inspired to be “my authentic self”. This phrase helped me change my outlook not just on dating but how I show up every day. I realized forgiveness was the name of the game for me. I had been carrying around this resentment for years. First I had to forgive myself and then my ex husband…. That was crystal clear and thank goodness I had someone to help me through that process. If I did that on my own it could have taken years and years. I knew it was time to get off the victim train…. I took on that roll and decided to get off that train because that train goes nowhere. I had someone to help me move through it, get past it AND inspire me to help others with what I have been through. So what I realized was that love is a choice.
That’s why I have created a Weekend Retreat called Total Breakthrough Connections to help clients get the gift of a breakthrough loving connection. My clients learn that Love is a Daily Choice and Relationship Don’t Have to Be Hard. Plain and simple, to choose love daily. I earned my coaching credential and now coach clients in my 3-Step Relationship enhancement System based on Clarity, Communication and Connection.
Yes plain and simply… Love is a choice.
When I am conscious of making it daily, and come from a place of choosing love daily, my decisions are made more easily because they come from an honest, authentic and peaceful place. I can honestly I am at peace today and I can honestly say that I don’t’ have any resentment towards myself or my ex husband.
This transformation lead to a new Me… Also a new with a $15000 raise, and I was inspired to help others through relationships that have stopped working…. wanting to help people get that “click” back in their relationships. That connection to Total Breakthrough Connections! Help relationships that have stopped working or are stagnant and Help them get that “magic” back. I want to dispel the myth that “Relationships have to be HARD”. So I developed the Relationship Enhancement System… I designed this unique weekend just for you and couples to help all Total Breakthrough Connections! And Created the “Creating the Very Best You” program to assist in helping you move through Transition and maintain a strong sense of who you are! Contact me for a COMPLIMENTARY Discovery Session NOW! Let’s work together to create a transformation in YOU!